angry90slesbian:

I’m in the living room and I could hear my mom on the phone down in the basement trying to fix something in the vent. So naturally I went over to the vent and went "OOOoooOOOHHHhhhh DeBORaHH!!!!! ThhIIISSSsss Issss YouRR CONSCIENCEEEEE!!!! ConFEsSS TO thAT MURDER YooouUU CooMMiTtEEDDdd in 1983!!!!"

and all I heard back was

I’m gonna have to call you back. My kids being a fucking idiot again.”

thefaultinourfandoms:

i swear to god I’m such a low maintenance friend like you could have not spoken to me for months and ill still be like yEAH FRIEND HI 

(Source: ivemoved666)



allmymetaphors:

ppl always ask me “”what are you going to do with your degree”“ and “"if you wanna get a PHD how do you plan on paying for it"" and ""where are you gonna move after college"" but here is the thing:

i am very powerful and cute and im gonna float through this world one day at a time. please leave me alone.